


Vantage Point

by jujubiest



Series: SPN One-Shots [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, Ficlet, Gen, Human Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 02:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujubiest/pseuds/jujubiest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy Novak's body went on like an ill-fitting jacket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vantage Point

**Author's Note:**

> Potential spoilers for season eight and nine.

Jimmy Novak's body went on like an ill-fitting jacket, too tight and barely holding together around you, straining at the seams. Resilient, clinging on...but only just. And walking in the world used to feel like living in a brightly-decorated fishbowl. Beautiful but small...such a tiny part of the vast and limitless universe.

Now the jacket fits and the fishbowl has become an ocean.

For the first time in your existence, it is you that feels too small, too fragile and far too slow to move through this world with any efficiency. The brevity of the distance you can travel in a day galls you. You marvel at the human beings you meet. They seem much larger and sharper from this new vantage point, so much more solid now that you are one.

You wonder what you will see when you look at Dean with human eyes. What expression will _his_ eyes hold, and will you be able to read it? Will he stand apart, loom over you like a tower, brooding and angry, silent? Will he be dense like the sky during a thunderstorm at midnight, opaque and deeply unknown? Will he embrace you as he did in Purgatory, wrap that solidity around you, pull you so close that you can feel his jaw flex against your shoulder when he smiles?

Will it feel different from before? Everything else does: sharper, like the other humans. It's as though a filter has been taken from your senses. So much _noise_. Colors bleeding bright and stark, sunlight like a knife to your temple, heat and cold and the pain of injuries, empty stomach and sudden jolt of _want_ and _smells_ and rolling stomach parched throat eyes ache stumbling _dizzy_...

You need food, and sleep, and to think about Dean less. To wonder no more whether you will know him now that you are no longer the angel he knew. But then again, Dean was never a clear or completed picture. Of all God's mysteries, he has baffled you like no other since the day you met. You've touched his naked soul and he still managed to surprise you. Doubtless he will surprise you yet again.

It makes you smile to remember that first belligerent meeting. He stabbed you in the heart and you felt nothing; that blow would kill you now. But Dean has never been able to wound you with weapons or fists, and now that he can some part of you knows he won't try. He had other methods of reaching in under your borrowed skin and twisting until something broke. You wonder if those will prove twice as effective now that you feel everything twice as well as you did.

You shudder at the thought, unsure if the sensation is dread or anticipation.


End file.
